


Too Much Is Not Enough

by viklikesfic (v_angelique)



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Angst, Blindfolds, D/s, Hurt/Comfort, Kink, Kink Meme, Knifeplay, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-01
Updated: 2010-02-01
Packaged: 2017-10-07 01:17:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/v_angelique/pseuds/viklikesfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>McCoy's given up on finding someone to hold on tight enough.  Sulu's very insistent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Much Is Not Enough

"I think Amy's got a crush on you."

"Oh." Leonard's not sure what to say to that. Jennifer's fingers push through his hair, fingertips stroking his scalp, and something that's always been there, lurking in the pit of his belly, wants her to curl those fingers and pull, tug, tighten, force his head into her lap, whisper possessive words against his lips--_mine_. _Mine._

"I don't mind or anything."

He nods. He doesn't know what to say to that, either. _I wish you'd mind. I wish you'd care._ He bites his lip and remains silent.

~*~

"Please," he manages. It's only a word, only a tiny word, but it's taken so much to get out. Three years, a wedding ring, a daughter. Worlds of trust, and he says it with trembling lips, shame rising in the back of his throat. "Tighter." 

Instead, Jocelyn lets go entirely, looks at him quizzically. "Why?"

Leonard's eyes close. "Just... hold on. Tight."

"You're bigger than I am. I can't hold that tight."

"It's not that, I... please?"

"I don't want to hurt you."

"What if I wanted you to?" Leonard says quietly. He opens his eyes and watches her eyes cloud in confusion, then her lips twist into something that negotiates the boundaries between misunderstanding and disgust.

"That's... I need a moment." She gets off of him, goes to the bathroom, and he jams the heels of his hands against his eyes. He won't be weak for her. But oh, how he had hoped.

~*~

"On your stomach, I think, that's easier."

Sulu raises one eyebrow. It's been simple, rough, manly and alcohol-infused to this point. Not personal. Sulu's hand grasps the back of his neck and _tugs_. Leonard stumbles forward, off balance, into a hard chest, hands catching his arms, squeezing his biceps as Sulu kisses him. Hard, hot, dirty, demanding. Agressive. It's a statement, not a question. Leonard's cock makes itself very fucking known against Sulu's hip and a needy moan loosens itself into the kiss. He chokes it back, but Sulu's already maneuvering him to the bed.

"I want to fuck you," Sulu rasps. It's still not personal, not supposed to be, but when Sulu fucks him hard and dirty and spread on his bed, on his stomach, something inside Leonard breaks. It's harder to hold together the house that the years have built, hard to deny that the lock on the door is getting rusty. He presses his face into the mattress and prays.

~*~

"Don't touch him."

There's something in Sulu's voice--low, dark, _invested_. His hand goes not to his phaser but to the hilt of a knife. The alien's hand drops, and he backs away. Leonard tries to hide the relief, the desire in his eyes, but there's a knowledge in the way Sulu looks at him, the way his arm slings around Leonard's waist without asking, the protective way he guides the doctor from the makeshift infirmary on a foreign planet and away from the would-be challenger. It's getting harder.

~*~

"Tell me," Sulu whispers, hands on either side of Leonard's face, staring so deeply into Leonard's eyes that his own reflexively close.

"I can't."

"Yes you can." Sulu's voice is both firm and gentle, and one hand slides to the back of Leonard's neck, gently squeezing.

"No. It fucks everything up."

"Why? Do you think it makes you less of a man?" All four of Sulu's fingers touch Leonard's lips, soft in contrast to the pressure on his neck. He's trapped and so _glad_ but yet so frightened. 

"It's... not right. It's not the way... things should..."

"Shhh." Sulu slips two fingers in Leonard's mouth, and he can't _not_ suck on them, cheeks flushing from the shame of how much _comfort_this brings him. "Let me show you."

Leonard can't protest with his mouth full, and when he opens his eyes he instantly knows it was a mistake. Sulu's eyes are so deep and tender and caring that he's slipping into believing it. He's slipping into believing that Sulu _wants_ him, that he wants to keep Leonard, that he doesn't want to let go. He's made that mistake before. He makes a choked, pained sound, and Sulu slips his fingers out. He waits for the man to leave the room, but instead his breath thumps out of his chest as he's slammed to the bed in one hard movement, as Sulu's body covers and pins and surrounds his own. The fist in his hair is tight, unrelenting, the breath on his lips warm and moist. 

"Let me show you."

Leonard is lost.

~*~

"Mine."

"Hikaru..."

"Beautiful, sweet, fuck--_gorgeous_\--boy..."

"Hikaru, I..."

"My boy, mine to keep, mine to love, mine to _possess_, all your needs, all your desires..."

"Please, Hikaru, I..."

"When _I_ say. When _I_ say, Leonard, only when I say."

"_Yes._"

"_Mine._"

"Yessss..."

"Hold onto me. That's my boy, that's it... let it out..."

"Hikaru..."

"_No._ Let it _out_, Leonard. Do as I say. Do as _I_ say."

"I..."

"Perfect. Beautiful boy. Mine."

"Hikaru."

"Yes."

"Yours."

"_Yes._"

~*~

"Why do you do this?"

Leonard's wrapped up so tightly in blankets that it's almost like a form of bondage, Sulu plastered to his back, his lips at Leonard's neck and an arm draped possessively across his stomach. "Do what?"

"Indulge me like this."

Sulu laughs softly at his ear and tugs gently at the lobe with his teeth, playful. "You're ridiculous. I _want_ this. It's all I've ever wanted."

"I don't believe you," Leonard grunts.

"You don't have a choice," Sulu says firmly, arm tightening. Leonard feels so hemmed in, but his breathing's slowing, his mind's emptying. His focus narrows to the simple field of Sulu's words. "It's the truth. I've always wanted a boy to keep, to hold, to have and possess and own and love...and it's always been too much. I hold so tight, and they all slip through my fingers."

Leonard lets out a breath. "They never hold tightly enough."

"I know," Sulu whispers, and his arms tighten another fraction. "I know."

~*~

"Give me this," Sulu speaks into the darkness, the sharp edge of the blade at Leonard's throat, his eyes and his wrists tightly bound. Sulu's weight is solid at his back. He doesn't dare move. "Give me your trust."

"You already have it," Leonard rasps, throat sore from sucking cock. The blade scrapes slowly, so slowly, from throat to chin, shaving a strip of five o' clock shadow from his neck. 

"Tell me what you are."

"Yours."

"Tell me why." 

"Because you cared too much. Because you hold too tight. Because you want too badly. Because... I _need_ it to be too... too..."

"My boy. I'll never hurt you in a way I can't fix."

"I'm a doctor," Leonard murmurs. Sulu laughs, and a hand rests over Leonard's heart, his knees falling neatly to either side of Leonard's calves.

"But who heals the doctor?"

"You do."

"Yes."

"_Only_ you do."

A sharp, pleased intake of breath, and the knife clatters to the floor. Sulu's cock pierces his body and his chest presses against Leonard's arms, his hands gripping too tight. Leonard fills the silence with the whispers that define his gratitude.


End file.
